Here we are in 2016. It's a new year, I have a new planner, and a slow start. That last bit is unusual. My historically-proven MO is to take something like a new year and splash about with new resolutions/intentions/I-will-do-all-the-self-improvement-things like I'm drowning. I tend to look a bit like I'm having a seizure induced by my intentions. Not so this year. This year I've taken to a different tact.
I've been Desire Mapping and listening to a lot of Danielle LaPorte on SoundCloud; I'm experiencing a shift. One I hope will prove positive.
For those of you not in the know, Desire Mapping is all about finding your Core Desired Feelings (how you want to feel) and then figure what you need to do to feel that way. The to-do list is second to the how I want to feel list. You can check out more about Desire Mapping and Danielle here. I recommend that you do; but that's just me ;)
I've settled on one word to describe my core feelings thus far; EASE. I tend to be a high-stress individual. I am what was once called (still is?) Type A, and I take most of the world onto my shoulders. Think planning, lists (abound), worry, concern, and over-booked-self.
You see, responsibility is a tricky thing for me. We humans are responsible for our own actions, inactions, responses, and reactions... but not for anyone else's. If you and I are two of a kind in wanting to be helpful and supportive, perhaps you go overboard. You know, like I do. Perhaps you, like myself, agonize over interactions, worrying about how the other person feels and constantly worrying you did the wrong thing or did not do enough. Ooh, that last on is my kicker. If I I let it, I would never feel like I've done enough.... Can you see how maybe this is a bit detrimental? But, this tends to be the case with a lot of us compassionate, intentive, hard working yoga-artist types. And just about a million other types. Still with me?
If so, maybe you join me in seeking out something different. I'm still going to do things like #yogaeverydamnday and recycle and volunteer; but I can acknowledge that sweet down time I need to be able to support all the things I pursue in life. Things like painting, teaching, helping, and just being present with the people I love.
You cannot pour from an empty cup."
So, let's be kind to ourselves as well as others, figure out how we want to feel and go after it. In the yoga community there is a saying; "you cannot pour from an empty cup". This is probably a saying in a lot of communities tbh. The idea here is that if you don't take care of yourself you cannot take care of others. And as a human that tends to push towards collapse and beyond (with stress, guilt, and all the fun things) I'm just (as in just now) getting this idea of balance not being that rest at the end of over-exertion. So, to be kind to others, let's first be kind to ourselves.
For me it is a feeling of EASE, for you it could be something else entirely. But whatever it is find out how you want to feel and make it happen. Give yourself this kindness so that you can continue being the awesome baddass that I know you are. Hey, it may even make you more amazing. And wouldn't that be some sparkle.
Love long and prosper, Namaste.
Jocelynne Lowans is an animated Yogini-Artist on a mission to deepen the creative experience and growth of the world while remaining a crazy cat lady.